the snowman. playground version

with thanks to numbers 1&2 sons.

we’re walking in the air,  we’ve lost our underwear

happy christmas!

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out of office japes

work winding down nicely.  the volume of out of office autoreplies has gone through the roof and i must say i’m impressed by the increasing numbers of people who’ve put fantastically irritating little pieces of whimsy on theirs.  apparently it’s not enough these days to say you’re off to the family / maldives / val d’sere and will not respond til jan 4th (which in your pre christmas bubble of joy you’re able to fool yourself will never actually come).  and of course in your absence the enquiry can be dealt with by some poor office junior who is not allowed any time off at christmas.

nope these days you have to send a link to a viral, say something witty about mulled wine and mince pies, or even write a poem.

yup.  i got one today with an ACTUAL poem.  this actual poem in fact:

Season’s greetings, one and all
I do hope you are well
I’m currently on holiday
As you probably now can tell

While I spend some time at home
Nibbling on a fresh mince pie
You’re sitting somewhere at a screen
Awaiting my reply

It’ll have to wait to January
In the meantime have no fear
Just pack up soon and head on home
And enjoy some festive cheer

wow eh.  wow.

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quotes of the weekend

mummy, i love your shiny disco balls (number 1 son – while decorating christmas tree)

a disco ball. shiny.

wish i was alone for christmas (number 1 son again – singing along to misheard lyrics on can you stop the cavalry. well i hope he misheard them and its not a statement of fact)

i’ve give it everythink (olly on x factor doing essex proud)

actually i think he should give it 112%. but its never been done on tv before. (robbie williams on x factor. either there is intelligent life behind those mad staring eyes or even his ad libs are scripted)

this is the best december ever! (number 2 son. delivered wearing santa hat that he hasn’t taken off for 4 days. god he knows how to push my buttons. giving good christmas is right up there in my life goals. alongside not fucking the kids up too badly and not wasting my life working out what the meaning of it is.)

as modelled by number 2 son. gave me a bit of a shock when he appeared by bed sunday morning 6 am in it. i thought the elves had come to get me.

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best christmas songs update

oh. forgot one. can you stop the cavalry. number 1 son’s favourite. and not being an obsessive personality he doesn’t play it endlessly off our 3 cd xmas tackfest collection to the exclusion of all others. no not at all….has only been on 11 times today already (its 8.15am). he’s marching round the living room to it right now. i’ve put in a request for something different but he’s not rushing into any compromises.

can’t think who he gets this stubbornness from.

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with bells on

just been reading about an exhibition in athens on the ancient greeks and sex. it includes this (“a bronze winged phallus in the shape of a lion with hanging bells” according to the notes):

cute

how cute! but where the hell would you hang it??

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genuine christmas letter to santa

from number 2 son:

“dear santer

i hav been ver good. i wode lieke…”

what i particularly love is the way he got halfway through writing “very good” and then had a moment of clarity and amended to just “good”

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on the 8th day of christmas

my agency gave to me:

no christmas bonus
no extra holiday
no christmas lunches
lots mo-ore work
no free mince pies
no party
no festive cheer
but some christmas songs played in reception

oh and we got some agency of the year runner up prize doo-dah. i think the MD is pleased but with that much make-up on its quite hard to tell.

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the best christmas songs ever

it’s the most wonderful time of the year. the office is dead, i have a cold and i haven’t started my christmas shopping. never mind. all i need is a seasonal special on telly (watched delia does christmas last night. purest essence of middle class toss, yet strangely enjoyable. possibly in a laughing at not laughing with kind of way) and a few christmas tunes and i’m happy. these are my favourites.

1 the power of love

mostly for holly johnson whispering about keeping the vampires from your door. actually its all lovely. and all the better for being sung by people more famous at the time for singing about sex and wearing bondage gear.

2 wombling merry christmas

surprisingly plaintive for a glam rock inflected christmas song done by fictional mole / bear hybrid characters (christ, i never though about it before. what WERE they??) also big childhood memory. wow that dates me.

3 merry christmas (baby please come home)

highlight of the phil spector christmas extravaganza. all brilliant, but this howl of christmas misery is particularly genius. they’re singing deck the hall, BUT ITS NOT LIKE CHRISTMAS AT ALL. get the gin out ladies, its gonna be a long night.

phil spector - dead behind the eyes

4 new year

the sugababes reflect on pretty much the same sentiment as above but a lot more nonchalantly. mutya don’t do emotional, alright.

5 i wish it could be christmas every day

technically jollier than the rest of my selections (which on reflection are a bit bloody miserable for someone who claims to love christmas so damn much). although it’s clearly not anything like as jolly as it sounds. the opening cash register clang and sight of roy wood in the video grimacing like the joker kind of give it away.

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apparently its not just me

number 2 son on getting dressed this morning:

him: mummeeee. i can’t get dressed.

me: why?

him: i’m just so bored

me: of what?

him: (short pause for brow crinkling thought). of EVERYTHING

n is for neville who died of ennui. along with number 2 son apparently.

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